The First Heart Break | chota's Blog

Ill never forget the night that everything changed. It was the end of the first week and I got a phone call from Leon saying we needed to meet up. We were only half way through and I hadn’t a clue about what I wanted yet but I set off at 8 o’clock to meet him. It wasn’t our shelter this time but 2 shelters away. Now im glad we didn’t meet there as it might have tainted my view of our special place.

He was there when I got there sitting head down looking at the floor, we hugged and talked then he got to business. He told me he loved me no matter what and was very sorry. I asked him why but it had already clicked in some small part of my head. He told me he had cheated but it meant nothing, just some drunken fling. It was like a bullet flew threw my stomach, I felt sick, Like my throat was cut. 

He told me the details didn’t matter but it did to me and I needed to know. He said there was party at his brothers flat and they had all got drunk, it was there it happened. I asked him who but he wouldn’t tell me, by now I was crying and I asked if knew her. He said yes and I went through the names of the girls who sometimes hung around with us. But instead of the usual reply of no after id said a name I heard a yes. He had cheated on me with Gemma. She was years younger than us and wasn’t close to us, I just couldn’t believe it. We knew she had been around quite a lot but I had no idea she was after Leon, my guy.

She had been there that night Leon had asked me to marry him just months before. He started crying too and kept saying how sorry he was and we hugged but I couldn’t kiss him, this changed things. I asked him why he had told me and he said because he wanted to be honest with me. I knew the others who knew including his brother would have only been able to keep their mouths shut for so long before slipping hints. He asked me to forgive him and I said yes even though that wasn’t what I felt like inside and I told him id see him in a week so I could have some space and told him not to do it again as that would be us finished.

It was the longest 5 minute walk I’ve ever had and I felt crushed. Even though I knew we needed to sort stuff out I had no idea it would be something like this to make it happen. That week went by in a blur and although I didn’t see Leon I thought about him and her constantly even when I was out cruising with Dan. Even after what he had told me I still didn’t know what I was going to do or what I wanted and was dreading the moment I had to decide.